Faith in God Includes Faith in His Timing

What a semester!!!!!!! If I had a glimpse into the future in January, I wouldn't have believed my eyes on what has happened.

It's been rough but it's been oh so good.

A quick summary--I've been dealing with abdominal pain since January 22nd. Doctor's are always shocked when I can tell them the exact date but I was having some sympathy pains for a friend who was getting surgery the next day. I waited a few weeks to see a doctor until I realized things were really wrong. Every lab result, sample, blood work, ultrasound came back normal.

After all this craziness, I decided in March to turned my life to God. I trusted in Christ. I knew that all things would be for my good but I felt pretty alone. I was floundering and I felt pretty lost. I tried to become a friend to all and really listen and help those around me. I prayed more feverently, I actually studied my scriptures and grew a lot.

Now, it's April. And finals. And I had a crazy week. Luckily, I was doing a media fast this week because I'm sure my posts wouldn't have been the most "inspirational."

I got a call on Monday from my doctor. She used the most dreaded word when it comes to medical tests...."abnormal." My HIDA scan came back "abnormal" and she diagnosed me with biliary dyskenisa, which is basically the fancy name for gallbladder disease. She referred me to a surgeon to talk about options and most likely get my gallbladder out. It was a crazy day full of emotions. I was trying to be strong and realize that there must be a plan in all of this but mostly, I was scared. I felt alone again but I remembered to pray and that I have a Savior who died for me and has felt every pain, emotion, and fear that I experience. It wasn't that bad of a day and honestly, I felt some relief knowing that I had a "condition."

Well, Tuesday just seemed like an unreal day all together. In one class, I got two voicemails, one confirming my appointment to see a surgeon and the other, a callback for a job interview. I had completely forgotten that I had sent in some job applications on Saturday because I felt peace about staying for spring. But.....I also felt some caution and that I needed to wait to sign a contract. So I didn't sign. And thank goodness I didn't!!

Anyway, after three way calling with my parents, I was a complete mess. I was in the Wilk and realized I was about to start my fast for our ward temple trip. I went into the mother's lounge bathroom and prayed through my tears. I felt some peace after I got out my phone and blasted Be Still My Soul.

At the end of my school day (and after a hug from Shelby!), I felt really good about going home to California. I don't know why but I felt much more peace from that decision. I think I felt the most peace because I was shutting out the world. I wasn't constantly checking Instagram and snapchat and I was listening to music that brought the spirit. I was praying almost every hour.

Wednesday was the day that really solidified my decision. I went about my day and canceled my appointments up here and made appointments in California (side note, you become an adult when you make your own doctors appointments, seriously! I'm an expert now on rating pain, explaining my situation and what I need!!). I studied for my finals and 20 mins before the temple trip, I got a text about a babysitting job at home. I was on cloud 9! That little text about a 3 day babysitting job made me so happy and feel like this is the right thing to do. I couldn't help but smile the whole time at the temple.

The quote that keeps on going through my head this week is "faith in God includes faith in His timing" (Neal A. Maxwell). There is so much this semester that has led me to these decisions. And I have even more faith that God is looking out for me. He has a plan for me. He has a plan for you. It's up to us to use prayer and those times to listen to the Spirit to understand His plan for us. I don't know why I have to experience everything I have this semester: physical pain, emotional pain, and days where I want to give up. But I know without a doubt that God is there for us. He is just waiting for us to exercise our faith and come to Him in prayer.