A Messed Up Pedicure

Today, I got a pedicure with my mama. It's tradition, I've never gotten a pedicure without her (although she's probably gotten some without me) and it's just a little bit of relaxing time for us.
For those of you who have never gotten a pedicure.......you sit on a comfy chair for about an hour-ish while someone scrubs your feet, cuts your toenails, and repaints your toenails, often adding a flower/jewel/design for an additional fee.

After the pedicure, I went shopping for new flip flops, something I probably should have done before the pedicure. I went to Target and was trying on a pair of shoes, attempting to be very careful but of course, I messed up my pedicure. The cute little jewel came off when the shoe came off. Now really, this wasn't a big deal at all but I was just annoyed. I was annoyed because my mom had spent a good chunk of money and I had JUST gotten the pedicure literally two hours ago and I already messed it up. Lovely.


Well, I decided to go back in. The nail salons are normally nice and understanding and will fix it for you. As I walked back in, every worker and all six ladies getting their nails done looked at me. I muttered out to the receptionist who I had seen 1 hour and a half earlier, kinda ashamed, that I had messed up my pedicure and she nodded to Linda, who had just perfected a pretty good looking pedicure on my feet. Linda looked at me and said, "Messed up?" And I reddened, and the receptionist said yes. She didn't ask what happened. She sat me down, wheeled her cart over, added a new jewel and helped me put my flip flops back on.  I was done in a matter of minutes.
I jumped back in my car, turned on my music, blaring, and started driving away. A few minutes later, I started thinking about this incident...and was hit pretty hardcore with some thoughts, enough that I turned off my music (which, if you know me, is unthinkable) during the drive home.

Repentance is just like a messed up pedicure.

When I walked into the nail salon, I felt awkward. I had just been in there two hours before! I knew they would recognize me. To make it worse, the receptionist acknowledge my mistake and I felt pretty embarrassed. But Linda just sat me down and within minutes, it was fixed.

We try our whole lives just to be good people. We aim for perfection, but as humans, we know perfection is just not possible.  When we make mistakes, we feel bad and sometimes awkward especially if it's a mistake that we keep making. We think that people will judge us and see us as "less-Christian" than the perfect family who sits in front of us every week at church. But our Heavenly Father does not judge us. He sits us down, acknowledges the mistake but the second that we repent, He remembers our mistake no more.  When we acknowledge our mistake, ask for forgiveness, and pray to our Heavenly Father, the mistake is gone and we can start over.

I'm grateful for this guidance and direction I received from Heavenly Father. I can't remember where I heard this quote but there was a speaker who said that repenting from our sins is uncomfortable for a second and in return, we receive eternal happiness.  I am no where never perfect and I know that repenting from our sins will let us return to live with our Father in Heaven after this life. I know that these things are true and I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true. I'm a Mormon-I know it, I live it and I love it!

The Edge of Light

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. When life springs lemons on you all of the sudden when you were looking for oranges, what do you do??

Once upon a time, I had a life plan for myself. I don't remember when this life plan was planned but I think it's natural for all of us to have an ideal life plan. Most probably go like this: education, college, a "real job," marriage, family, retirement, etc. For the longest time, I always wanted to go to BYU. Now, I'm there and I'm almost done. 21 credits left. WOW. Where did the time go? 

The wonderful thing about life (especially in these emerging adulthood years) is that your life plans will be tossed around, flipped upside down, and turned sideways until you can't recall what you ever planned. It seems like every time we make plans, they somehow change and you're left scrambling around, wondering what to do and how to do it.

If that doesn't sum up the last six months of my life, then I don't know what does.

I'm stuck in this phase of life where I have so many options. Every option that I could plan for my life are good options...hence why trying to make a life plan has been so hard. Every time someone asks me what's going on in my life I literally have nothing to say and am lost until they provide some questions that I can sometimes answer. 

Well, during May and June up in Provo, let's just say it was rough. Life threw me a curveball and in all honesty, I didn't know how to handle it. I was scared, I was hurt and I felt very alone. Of course, shoutout to my friends, roommates, and family who were there for me, but, I was a mess. I took a day or two to have my "woe is me" days until I was back on my feet. But in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but wonder, "why me?" Now, I know that is the worse thing to ask yourself when you're going through a trial....but I did. I'll be honest. One night, during my evening prayer, I was crying out why me? And seconds later, I was humbled by realizing that life could be a lot worse. Anyway, I digress.

Let's get to the point of this post. During that time, I was sitting in Sunday School when my teacher put up this quote. The preface to this post is that Elder Boyd K. Packer goes looking for counsel, receives the counsel from the President of the Church (David O. McKay), and then did not immediately follow the counsel. Elder Harold B. Lee then counsels Elder Packer with this statement.

“The trouble with you is you want to see the end from the beginning....You must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness; then the light will appear and show the way before you.” 

Whoa. If that wasn't what I needed to hear and need to be reminded of on a daily basis.  As a member of the church, I have a hard time with this. I want my Heavenly Father to let me know that every decision I make is good and right and most of the time, I want some kind of physical proof that the decision is good and right. However, that's not what life is for. We were sent to this Earth to make mistakes, to learn and to exercise our agency.  While Heavenly Father can help us receive guidance and help us with decisions, He is not going to hold our hand through the process.

While thinking about this over the past few months, I asked a friend on a mission for some guidance.  He practically told me the same thing but in easier words. His counsel for decisions is to act. Once you start acting, you will know if the decision is right or wrong. 

As I begin this school year, I have a resolution to walk in faith near the edge of light. In this phase of life, I will have many decisions to make and I need to start acting. With action, confirmation of my life plans will come, through adequate prayer and scripture study. I am so grateful for my membership in this church, to know that I can rely on my Heavenly Father and act for myself in order to find my path.