I always knew that I have a Father in Heaven who is aware of me. I've known that since I learned the words to "I am a Child of God." But it wasn't until recently that I've begun to realized just how much of a role God has had in my life, quietly guiding me to the places I need to be.
I finally saw a surgeon here in California and surprise, I'm having surgery and will no longer have a gallbladder. I've been preparing for that news since February when I "self diagnosed" myself through Internet searches. I even took an online quiz about abdominal pain and I got the answer that I should see a doctor immediately, haha.
Before my appointment, I looked at my calendar. I have a BUSY summer with various trips and I currently have a short term nanny job. Looking at my calendar before the appointment, I said to my mom that the best date would be June 8th. I'd have a full week plus to recover before my next big summer event, my short nanny job would end, and I had nothing on my calendar. After the doc gave the OK for surgery (his exact words-- "Yeah I can take your gallbladder out, no problem!"), the nurse informed me that the surgery could be done in a surgery center or a hospital either here in Valencia or 30 minutes away. She looked at dates and mentioned that she didn't even have one open in May. I looked my mom, worried that we'd have to postpone the surgery until later than June! The nurse then said, my earliest date is June 8 and it's here in Valencia, at the surgery center. I couldn't believe it. I almost said too quickly and full of enthusiasm, "I'LL TAKE IT!" I walked out of the office feeling complete relief.
To many people (and maybe even you reading my post), this is called a coincidence, as one of those lucky opportunities in life when everything is falling into place and working out perfectly. And while this is true, I know without a doubt that this is not a coincidence.
I like to know that God is pleased with my decisions. One thing that I need in my life is the knowledge that I'm on the right path and I'm making the right decisions, or at least decisions God is aware of and approves. I didn't know this about myself until I was preparing to apply to colleges and included God in all those important decisions. Since then, when I have decision, I always counsel with God in order to receive revelation to know what to do.
The weeks before I made the decision to come to California, I was changing my mind everyday. I'd call my mom, begging to come home and then the next day, I couldn't imagine leaving my beautiful, huge, green Provo mountains for the dry, brown, dirty hills of Santa Clarita. Two days after my family left Provo, I got the results that I have a "depressed gallbladder" and surgery was recommended. I made an appointment with a surgeon in Utah and had two days to think about what to do. Another coincidence occurred here, as my ward has planned a well planned temple trip, full of fasting physically as well as temporarily. I spent the next two days with only church music, scripture reading and many prayers. Not a coincidence. I finally made the decision to come home to California. I felt peace in the temple that day and I knew that being in California for summer was God's will for me.
I've been home for over a month now. I am constantly amazed at why I'm here. I'm creating better relationships with my immediate family members as well as extended family members. I'm living the moment. I'm doing a 100 days of happiness and I have found MANY happy parts of my days. I am truly happy. I smile easily. I babysit...A LOT. I have not been without work and have had many days of working from sun up to sun down. I am meeting new people who I needed to met at this time. I need these experiences. I am gaining life experiences as well learning who I am. I'm taking the time to work on bettering myself.
And overall, I know that God is aware of me. Every time I get a babysitting job, every time I remember how easily this surgery is working out, and every time I smile, I realize that being in California is where I need to be. I feel peace. I feel comfort. I feel God's love for me.
Life is hard. I still have days when I'm in pain and I've been facing more problems since I've been home. It's not always rainbows and butterflies. But knowing without a doubt that my life is in God's hands, knowing He is aware of me, and knowing that His plan for me is better and more rewarding than mine, that knowledge keeps me going. Coincidences are REAL but they aren't coincidences. They are tender mercies from God and we need to recognize that His hand guides us towards these coincidences. When promptings come, follow them and God will use your life in ways you never thought possible.
