Courage Comes from Above

courage (n): strength in the face of pain or grief


March has been one heck of a month. Luckily, for me at least, it's gone by really fast. But I was hit with a major trial of my faith. In an instance, plans were changed, my health went from bad to worse, and everyday life challenged me in ways I never thought possible. I was scared. I spent many nights on my knees, pleading that these trials would be taken from me. I knew they wouldn't and that all things were for my good.....but it was hard.

One thing you may not know about me--I love words. I love quotes, phrases, lyrics--my room has always been covered in words and pictures. I think words can really hit you at a time you need them the most, so I always save every LDS picture with quotes on my phone and look through them from time to time.

I'm also a huge fan of being positive. I hate being sad and throwing pity parties because real talk, they don't help. I'm also a huge fan of faking it till you make it.

But after the month of March, I believe in courage.

Recently, the LDS Church's media sites have skyrocketed with posts about courage. I noticed it a few weeks ago but every day, there's a new post about #courage and how LDS members face trials. Interesting, right? Maybe it's just because the world is getting worse but maybe sometime huge is coming and we are going to have courage. Whatever the reason, it's been awesome. A few weeks ago, this quote was attached to a fellow LDS member's instagram account, that the Church featured on their page.

"In your 20s, nothing is set in stone. Every decision you make you have to do with courage because you don't know where it will take you. And so you have to decide what's important in your life and what you want to do, and then trust that it'll work and have courage that you can make it work."

I just love that. I think often times, we float through life and think we have no control over the events. We have to go to school, work, and we can't change that. So we let things happen to us that weren't in our plans and as such, our attitude suffers. We become pessimistic and we worry that things will never be better.  We feel lost and we feel that we are unable to control the events we face. But that is ENTIRELY FALSE. That is a lie.

I believe that if we take control of our lives, we will be blessed with courage. We will be capable of much more than faking it till we make it. We will steer through life with confidence, courage and happiness.

But where do we get this courage??

This morning, I was listening to the song "Be Still my Soul." I listened to the lyrics and realized that every line is so true. Heavenly Father is our Friend and He is on our side. We can bear our cross of grief or pain (Go back and look at the definition of courage!!!!) patiently and courageously. Those who are faithful during times of trial will be granted heavenly help and heavenly courage and lead their lives to a joyful end.

Heavenly Father grants us with courage when we are faithful during trials. Life is not easy. It's hard. If you're sitting there comfortable with how things are going, get ready. When I was sitting around, realizing how comfortable I was with life, that's when things flipped. And lucky for me, I was listening to the promptings of the Spirit and prepared when things were still going well. Prepare for the worse. And then when the worse comes, pray for courage. Heavenly Father is mindful of each of us and sends courage when we need it the most. He loves you and me perfectly and more than we will ever know.

Life is hard. But we can do hard things with help and courage.

I No Longer Believe in Coincidences

Have you heard the saying "when it rains, it pours?"

Well, that's my week. I'm not going into details but my personal life, my health, and my emotional health took a hit. I met with my second counselor for an ecclesiastical endorsement interview last night. He asked me how I was doing. For those who I've seen around campus or walking back and forth from Lib Square, I've probably told you I'm good. Cause I am. Or because the general population of humans like to tell white lies and say they are good even if they are having the worst day of their life. But when my second counselor asked how I was doing, I let it all out. His response?

"Well, when it rains, it pours." (He also provided some counsel, concern, and help, no worries).

But I was thinking this morning about blessings (After I threw up. Haha. Yup, it's been a good day). I'm blessed to think about blessings (pun intended) and I'm blessed with an optimistic mind. I've had dark days in the past but I've always found myself thinking positively and trying to be strong with a happy face, regardless of what I'm going through.

I've been volunteering at the State Mental Hospital this semester as part of my Abnormal Psychology class. I was super nervous to take this class, as I knew volunteering would be a part of it and I was unsure of how I'd do, who I'd be working with and most of all, I was scared of the unknown. But I took a leap and with some encouragement, I took the class. Not only has the class provided significant insight to mental health today but volunteering saved my life. And here's why.

I volunteer with girls who live on site from age 12 to 18. They are adorable. But even better than the fun I have, I volunteer with some amazing people. Everyone is always so smiley...because we're doing service. Last week, one volunteer taught a Zumba class as our activity with the girls. The girls....didn't love it but I loved it. I've always found that I love exercising when there's people involved and this certain volunteer was so happy and energetic that it made my day...especially as afterwards I got a particular scary phone call from my doctor that left me unsure about my future.

Tuesday's Zumba Class!

Anyways, I found out that this volunteer (let's call her...Anne) teaches Zumba on M/W/F. I thought to myself that this was way too good of a deal to pass up....until I found out that it starts at 7 in the morning. Now, I'm a morning person in the sense of I get out of bed, happy to start the day....as long as the sun has already been up for a few hours. The last time I woke up consistently before 8 was working breakfast shifts at the MTC or seminary for four years. So, I was weighing the pros and cons and just mulling things over in my mind, seeing if I'd actually go.

Last Friday, I was heading up to Pleasant Grove to hang out with a friend. I was running late but I had the thought to go to Chase Bank and deposit a check. As I was running late, I went to the drive thru ATM...and the lame machine wouldn't take my check. I was rather annoyed and pull into the next lane to talk to someone. I looked at the car next to me and who was there, but ANNE. I turned to say something, complimented her on her Zumba teaching skills and told her I wanted to come on Monday. We made some small talk and I actually called my mom to tell her that there was no way this was chance.

Sunday night was a turning point. I didn't know how I was going to get out of bed the next morning as my life flipped and everything took a turn for the worse. I had class at 12 and I knew I needed to do something to keep me busy. I remembered Anne. I texted her and asked if she was teaching. She seemed hesitant at first but then decided to teach. 

And this Zumba class has made all the difference. I've gotten up at OHMYGOSH:30 (aka, 6:30, for those of you who didn't go to early morning seminary my freshman year) and zumba-ed for an hour. Anne always comes smiling and full of light that early in the morning and it makes me smile. The music is uplifting and I'm enjoying exercising. I have started my day off smiling, even if it doesn't end that way. And Anne has decided to do it everyday! So for four mornings, I've willingly and excitingly woken up at 6:30, taken some friends, and had a blast working out. 

Hence why I no longer believe in coincidences. I didn't know my life was gonna take a turn for the worst. I never planned on taking abnormal psych. I only took it as a counselor suggestion back in October. I didn't want to take it once I found out about volunteering. I did it anyway and meeting Anne and starting Zumba really saved my life. That's why I don't believe in coincidences, I believe in God. God watches out for His children. His heart hurts when other people's agency changes our life plans that we want so badly to work out. But He always has a plan, if we use our agency, especially to read His words and communicate with Him. And the Savior is always there for us. His Atonement is there to succor us when we need extra strength to get through the day.

I'm not going to save I'm grateful for these trials, because honestly, I was a lot happier before they hit. But, I'm grateful that God looks out for His children and that He does have a plan. Things will work out for the better if we trust in Him and turn to our Savior.